Getting Excited!

I've been planning, lately. I can't act on anything, yet, but I've been pricing things like baby joggers and cloth diapers. On Skype tonight, I asked Cameron if he minded my going to a consignment sale at the Puyallup fairgrounds this weekend. He shocked me; he said he didn't want me to go BECAUSE he wanted to be a part of that process. And he was so EXCITED about it.

Honestly - I know this is God's timing. We have both waited what feels like forever to start our family. I've been dreaming of being a mother since I was about 11 years old. Cameron and I started our relationship by talking about what we wanted for the future. Before I knew he was the one, I told him I wanted a big family and a farm where I could grow my own vegetables and herbs. His eyes lit up - he told me, "That's what I want, too!" It looks like our little dream is about to get very REAL!

I can't wait to move over with him and be a daily part of his life again. Talking on the phone and Skype-ing is so difficult. I constantly forget things, so as we're about to hang up for the 10th time, I butt in with something else.

Funny, I just opened a Dove chocolate with the inscription, "Be your own valentine." No thanks; that doesn't sound very fun.

Spiderwoman and letdowns

I just heard a 'ker-plop' on the desk next to me. When I looked over, a larger-than-life spider was crawling my way. I just realized I wanted Cameron to save me from it, but even if he were here, it would still be my job. Yes, I'm the spider-killer. I really don't mind them, just this one. He now lies lifeless in my wastebin. K, I'm closing the vent now.

I had a very frustrating encounter with another free ad on Craigslist today. This gentleman (or jerk, not sure which) was giving away some furniture, as he had to move today. I replied to a listing on a free solid Mahogany entertainment center. He replied back courteously, and I enlisted the help of our friend, Logan, to heave it down 3 flights of stairs in Capitol Hill. Except this gentleman never gave me his address in the various emails we sent back and forth. So, there I was, waiting with Logan to get his address so we could actually head SOMEWHERE. I told him I had to be at work at a certain time and he totally disrespected that. I haven't heard from him all day. Big PROPS to Logan, though, for being so willing to help at the drop of a hat! It is wonderful to have friends that I can rely on - that's something silly, but it meant a lot to me.

So, no free Mahogany entertainment center. But a very good day at work. I've got myself some fun girl dates scheduled this week. Tomorrow, Jill and I will make lattes at Dad's work to fundraise for her upcoming trip (http://www.wix.com/jillian_rose/photography). The organization she's going with is called PhotogenX (http://photogenx.net/). I'm very excited to help in this small way - I wish we were doing more fundraising, but it's tough coming up with good ideas that will be worth our time and effort (and bring in more profit than our expenditure). Any ideas?

79 degrees at home

Please PLEASE PLEASE replace your appliances on-time. The washer in Debbie's house got stuck on 'fill' for 2 hours last week, flooding the downstairs and the crawlspace. The insurance adjustor is here right now, surveying the damage. The service company came last night to set commercial-grade fans and dehumidifiers downstairs (it's now a balmy 79 degrees down there). Luckily, I like sleeping with white noise!

It looks like they'll have to replace the hardwoods which cover about 50-70% of the downstairs square footage. That means hotel stay for us! I have no idea when they'll kick us out or for how long we'll be out, but they pay for "an equivalent lifestyle to your home life." I told Debbie that meant I needed a full kitchen - that's all I'm worried about!

It's really hard to fall back asleep knowing there's a strange man downstairs, however, so I'll think I'm up for the day. Missing my hubby today. The thing I miss the most, so far, is having him to come home to after a hard night at work. He doesn't even know how much of a calm he creates for me. The best part is that I don't have to complain for hours; I can just look at him and he knows. He also tells me when I just need to shut it. :)

Here's to another rainy work day!

Today was a lot easier than I thought it would be. Not because "Oh, it just happened to be a good day." 100% because God strategically placed loving, supportive family and friends (some of whom ARE family) in our lives.

Today, I had a thought - one that has occurred to me before. "Plenty of women have given up their husbands for noble causes - even more noble than what I am giving my husband up for. For ages, women have sent their men to war, hoping against all hope that they will come back alive. Women have cried in agony without communication from their men, longing to know HOW they are doing, WHAT they are doing, WHO they are with."

Well, I am not plenty of women. I have feelings. I have never given up my husband before and just because some have does not make it any easier or less painful for me. Today was difficult. Certain things about it were harder than I expected. Kissing Cameron and telling him, "I'll see you in 2 weeks" was not as hard. I'm looking forward to getting dressed up for him and agonizing over the 4 hours it takes me to get to him. I'm looking forward to the planning I have to do for his birthday gift (Yes, it's in July, but I've been planning since February and he's not gonna have a clue).

Cameron, I can't wait to look into your eyes again. We're coming up on 5 years of relationship and I have not grown tired of getting lost in your gaze. You are my love, and I am meant to be by your side. Thank you for trusting me with your heart - I know you've been hurt before. I will love you forever.

LORD, thank you for dying for my sins. Thank you for the freedom you have given me in your name, Christ. I long to live my life for you in all boldness, wherever that takes me. Thank you for our church family at ECF - we are blessed in abundance. You have opened our hearts to your deep love and grace - especially for my husband's growth, I am grateful. Thank you that I can call my good friends anytime to open up and ask for prayer - thank you that they know me. In your peace I rest.

Lessons on living with a Mother-In-Law

For those of you who think this will be a public rant on how terrible my Mother-In-Law is and how awful it is to live with her, look elsewhere, please. I am well aware that this is public territory and I would not speak of her in a bad way. In fact, Debbie, if you are reading this, it will probably be a recap of a menagerie of our conversations. I love you!

July of last year began a great adventure. Cameron and I had begun seriously considering investing in real estate (IE buying our first home) last spring. After having some discussions with real estate agents and our bank, we quickly realized how unprepared we were, especially in the way of a down payment. So, long story short, we made an agreement with Debbie to move in for a maximum of 2 years, all while trying to save around 70% of our income.

Logistics aside, we have saved quite a bit (probably less than we would have liked) and my attitude has turned quite sour lately. It takes a near-genius to help me realize when I'm in a bad mood, but I found my stubborn match in Cameron. One snowy night, we took a walk through the streets around midnight and I shared with him for the hundredth time all the things that bothered me about living with Debbie (these always tend to include undone dishes, unwashed counters, clutter, and dog hair). He politely suggested we have a discussion with her that night.

It went about like this: Me - complaining about dishes, small talk when I don't feel like talking, talking about the same things all the time, talking about politics, etc. Debbie - wondering aloud why I cared so much what we talked about as long as we were still talking and on good terms. Me - trying to explain myself in a way everyone could understand (I'm not eloquent with words). Debbie - still hurt and trying to understand. Me - suddenly realizing I needed to be quiet about those stupid, little things and CARE about my Mother-In-Law as a person.

I needed to get over my selfishness and wake up every day WANTING to be friendly and kind. Part of our agreement was that if I was not doing well living here, Cameron would move us back into an apartment until we moved to go to school. We talked about that option and I decided that I wanted to try to make it work. When we moved in here, I saw such an incredible opportunity that I know I'll never have again once we move. I needed to get back to that place, those desires.

One of the things that stood out from that conversation - Debbie pointed out that while the kids were growing up, she wanted a clean kitchen, too, but she had to decide what was more important: clean kitchen or happy family. This helped me realize something I treasure: TO ME a clean kitchen helps me be a better wife/mother (someday)/cook/provider because I am cooking on a surface that will not poison or harm my family. I'm reading a book right now called 'Organic Housekeeping' by Ellen Sandbeck.

Did you know that you can sanitize your counters/breadboards/sinks/stoves/ovens with VINEGAR and HYDROGEN PEROXIDE? It's true - just scrub the nasties off with a clean, wet washcloth and some dish liquid, then spray a thin layer or vinegar quickly followed by hydrogen peroxide. Let it air dry and your countertops will be naturally disinfected. It doesn't even cost a fraction of what 409 costs and you are saving your precious family the toxins of commercial cleaners. This works on fruits and veggies, too - just make sure you use lots of hydrogen peroxide, which helps wash the nasty vinegar away.

All in all, I've realized that I can give up a lot of things that I used to consider important in order to further my relationships. Some things, though, like dishes will just never stop bothering me!