Sunday, March 27, 2011
Today was a lot easier than I thought it would be. Not because "Oh, it just happened to be a good day." 100% because God strategically placed loving, supportive family and friends (some of whom ARE family) in our lives.
Today, I had a thought - one that has occurred to me before. "Plenty of women have given up their husbands for noble causes - even more noble than what I am giving my husband up for. For ages, women have sent their men to war, hoping against all hope that they will come back alive. Women have cried in agony without communication from their men, longing to know HOW they are doing, WHAT they are doing, WHO they are with."
Well, I am not plenty of women. I have feelings. I have never given up my husband before and just because some have does not make it any easier or less painful for me. Today was difficult. Certain things about it were harder than I expected. Kissing Cameron and telling him, "I'll see you in 2 weeks" was not as hard. I'm looking forward to getting dressed up for him and agonizing over the 4 hours it takes me to get to him. I'm looking forward to the planning I have to do for his birthday gift (Yes, it's in July, but I've been planning since February and he's not gonna have a clue).
Cameron, I can't wait to look into your eyes again. We're coming up on 5 years of relationship and I have not grown tired of getting lost in your gaze. You are my love, and I am meant to be by your side. Thank you for trusting me with your heart - I know you've been hurt before. I will love you forever.
LORD, thank you for dying for my sins. Thank you for the freedom you have given me in your name, Christ. I long to live my life for you in all boldness, wherever that takes me. Thank you for our church family at ECF - we are blessed in abundance. You have opened our hearts to your deep love and grace - especially for my husband's growth, I am grateful. Thank you that I can call my good friends anytime to open up and ask for prayer - thank you that they know me. In your peace I rest.